James Madison Never Got Called an Asshole

"I really think these people are totally punking me.  The picture on my new ID is even worse than the last."  I lamented.
"Yeah.....your head is like....square......"  my first grade boyfriend responded, staring incredulously at my new work badge.  

"MISS EVANS!"  a parent called out loudly in the middle of the virtual class.

"Javonte has got to go.  He got a Q-tip stuck in his ear.  I'm taking him to the emergency room!"

We stared back into the screen.

"Oh Javonte....."  Ms. Evans responded lowly, shaking her head.  

"So, when I'm older, I'm going to have a beard."  one of my housing authority students mentioned casually.  

"Like a really long one?"  I responded.

"Yeah, really long.  My religion says you're not supposed to cut it."  he answered.

"So you're going with it?  Will you have a mustache, too?  You could like, grab the corners and curl it up with your fingers....."

His eyes widened.

"What if it is like really sparse, like only three really long hairs grow....."  I continued.

His eyes got even bigger and he screamed.  

"Did you know that James Madison showed up like, two weeks early to the Constitutional Convention basically so that he could write the whole thing before anyone else got there?"  I asked my co-worker as we leaned against the wall overseeing a massive fourth grade bathroom break.

"Hmmmm."  she responded.

"I mean, who does that?  It's kind of rude."  I continued.

"JAMES MADISON does THAT."  she answered with a firm nod.  

"Mauricio, you have really curly hair."  I commented.  I have really never seen a Mexican kid with hair like that before.

"Yeah, I have A LOT of hair."  he answered.

"I have a bunch on my arms, too.  And my back."  he continued.

Well.  You learn something new every day.