Sloppy Joe

I watched the Republican, oh, my bad, Democratic Convention.  I was surprised to see the leader of the progressive movement, the person who came in second before the DNC-Biden coup, speaking on the first night, paired with Kasich, a Republican.  Kasich applauded the Democrats for resisting the "radical left".  I really don't give a shit what he thinks of liberals and don't really know why anyone else does either.  By the second night, my blood was boiling.  A montage of seventeen "rising stars" of the Democratic Party.  Mysteriously, all of them were Biden supporters.  Not a single progressive in the lot, no Squad, none of the people that have pumped energy and interest into a decaying, corrupt Democratic Party.  In addition, we got to watch Colin Powell and Cindy McCain.  AOC was relegated to a one minute sound bite, announcing the delegates for Sanders.  It was wildly misunderstood online and the insults started flying again.

"YOU JUST GOT US DONALD TRUMP FOR FOUR MORE YEARS!"
"Bernie supporters cost us the last election!!!!"
"If you don't get what you want you just take your toys and go home!"

Yet, you keep telling me that I have to join your side, while yelling and insulting me and blaming me for the last election.  Bernie Sanders didn't lose the election for Hillary Clinton.  Hillary Clinton barely appeared in public for months at a time and rarely visited the rust belt.  Patriarchal attitudes toward women by women didn't help either.  Jim Comey threw a Hillary email bomb right before the election.  The Russians conspired against her in order to help elect Trump.  The Electoral College allows for one person to win the popular vote and also, lose the election.

But, let's blame Bernie Sanders.  And his supporters.  Insult progressives, yet demand that we vote for hair-sniffing, malarkey-phonograph, "you aren't Black enough if you don't vote for me" Joe Biden.  I am not seeing myself reflected anymore in the traditional, Democratic Party.  We started the primary with a diverse panel of candidates.  Diverse by means of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, progressives and moderates.  And what did we end up with?  An old, white, male, moderate DNC-establishment candidate that wants to shove the progressive wing behind some curtain.  It doesn't help to have to watch a bunch of Republicans at the Democratic Convention, instead of the people that are actually bringing the party alive.  If there are Republicans out there that are still on the fence, I don't think Kasich or Michael Bloomberg is going to convince them.  Give it up, and let's celebrate what is good about our party and for me more than anything, that is the progressive wing.

So, before you start yelling at me too, yes, I am going to vote for Sloppy Joe.  And yes, I voted for Hillary, too.  But it is getting harder and harder to stomach.

First Day

"Okay, which system are you using to deliver assignments, VERGE or Google Classroom?"
"Google Classroom."
"Which video conferencing system are you using, TEAMS or Zoom?"
"Google Classroom."
"Are you telling me you are not using TEAMS or Zoom, but instead are using Google Meet, which is imbedded in Google Classroom?"
"I don't know.  I'm using Google Classroom."
"Which video conferencing?"
"Google Classroom."
"I'm using VERGE and TEAMS."
"I'm using Google Classroom and TEAMS."
"I'm using Google Classroom and MEET."
"Can you make me a co-owner of your class so that I can be in your live sessions?"
Radio silence. 
So, all of you are using a variety of platforms that you don't understand.  And, I am reliant on you in order to do my job and co-teach your sessions. 
Most of this went down after eight days of training, one hour before we were supposed to go live, on our first day of school.  All of the multiple teachers I have to collaborate with in order to access my students were using a hodgepodge of platforms, not really understanding how most of them work and failed to include me on them, no matter how much I asked. 

I sat, waiting for the moment when the kids were supposed to start logging on for school.  I felt like I was sitting on top of a giant machine, The Washington Post's printing press or like a uranium centrifuge processing plant or something, feeling the vibration while it geared up and start whipping up speed, going up to full bore.  Then, it crashed.  And crashed.  And crashed.  Tab after tab on my computer with the students' access pages showed the various sites crashing.  Texts and phone calls from district started flooding my phone.  My own internet started failing.  I felt an immense panic and started crying hysterically.  I'm using my Mac, not that shit the county gives us.  I upgraded my internet.  All of our efforts, all of the stress and it was all failing.

I set up my Google Voice a few days ago, though I no longer mind if my students or their parents contact me directly by phone.  I was surprised when I got a text from one of my most at risk student's sister, before eight o'clock.
"Hey, I'm Alberto's sister, I'm helping him but I have questions...."
I texted her back immediately, but never heard anything back. 
"Hey...I miss you...what am I supposed to be doing?"
I messaged back and forth all day on the county's system, oddly feeling like I was talking to an old friend instead a girl that just entered fourth grade, one of the few that knows how to use all this online shit. 

My email blew up for a minute, from the vice-principal and principal, telling me that I had a new student coming in to kindergarten.
I scoped him out the minute they put him in the system and realized it was Prem's little brother. 
I can't wait to meet him. 

Gardening at Night

I've been a little under the weather.  Not like, ventilator-under the weather, but definitely have some sort of cold.  I started getting a little nervous and decided to get tested again.  I still don't go out, but Alec is working and was exposed by a co-worker.  I also just kind of wanted to know.  I decided to go to one of the free, health department sites because I wasn't sure how many times my health insurance would pay for these tests and even if they did pay, I knew I haven't met my deductible and I don't want to cough up another $180.00 right now.

On Monday, I pulled up to the first health department site and was surprised to see a sign out front that stated that the site was closed because of "lightning".  I drove to another free site and got in line.  Thunder cracked through the air and the testers came out and informed us that they too were closing because of lightning.  I drove home.

Tuesday, I tried again and drove to a different, roving health department testing site.  I was surprised to get in there really fast.  I registered while standing there on an app on my phone and walked over to a tent where a volunteer handed me a bag via a really long set of pinchers.  It had my test inside and my name and date of birth on the outside.  I walked to the next tent and waited for the plastic covered volunteer to finish fumigating a chair, then sat in it as he stood six feet away from me, directing me how to perform the nasal swab myself.  The swab was like a mascara wand on a long stick.  I did the deed and handed him back the bag.
"Do you guys have an idea of how long the results might take?"  I asked cautiously.
"I did my own test a week ago Monday and just got the results back last night." the volunteer answered.
Eight days.
"Thanks." I said repeatedly and left.

The school year officially began on Wednesday.  My district decided not to pay us for five days worth of our salaries this year and instead, replaced four of them with a stipend-paid "learning institute".  The stipend is about one hundred dollars a day less than I usually make and for the fifth day, I get nothing. 

Each day began with a TEAMS call.  Everyone has pretty much learned to mute their microphones and keep the camera off at this point.  We were guided through a series of online modules and instructed to do small activities and upload our work into multiple folders and platforms in order to receive our stipend pay.  In the afternoon, we were told to work independently but to stay on the TEAMS call, muted.  By Thursday, things started getting strange.  The calls were lasting from eight in the morning until five in the afternoon, most of it in muted silence.

I laid on my bed with Lola doing modules, hearing people occasionally unmute their microphones.
"Rainier...Rainier...." the meanest teacher in the school suddenly began whispering into his microphone.
"I need help!  I don't know what I'm doing!"  he whispered furiously.
It was weird hearing him in my bedroom.
He was met with radio silence.  Lola rolled over on her other side.
"Oh hey....." Ms. Rainier suddenly purred.
"Sorry....I was eatin'...what'd you need....?" she continued in a sleepy tone, her southern drawl dragging her words out.
At random times someone would inadvertently unmute themselves, causing half the school to also unmute themselves and yell "MUTE YOURSELF!" before the offender said anything embarrassing.
"Anyone wanna hear a song?" another teacher offered one afternoon, breaking hours of silence.
"Sure." I responded in the chat.  I ended up sort of regretting that.
I was getting texts, too.  Laughing, complaining, or requesting to copy my work.
It felt like some giant, metro-Atlanta sleep over.

Thursday night, I received a message from the health department.  My COVID test had been damaged in transport and was inconclusive.  They requested that I come back and be tested again.

Friday, they let us out for a long lunch, but requested that we keep the TEAMS call rolling but our microphones muted.  I let the TEAMS call operate on auto-pilot and drove to another testing center.  I sat in a line of cars in a giant, cracked, sunbaked Porsche parking lot next to the airport, waiting for my turn to get tested again.

I looked up at the the big, commercial planes flying overhead and suddenly had an overwhelming urge to cry.  I got myself together, just in time to shove the mascara wand up my nose again.

*Title, REM