"Actually, yes, a few times. It's really crazy, my eyes were open and I was talking...."
"STOP! STOP!" he shrieked.
"Too scary......."
"No, no...." I said, trying to finish my description.
"Scary! Too, too scary."
I stopped.
"I have to get going, friends. I have to go by my mom's house on the way home from work."
"Oh! Please tell her we said hi....." Kaw exclaimed.
"I will, Kaw, thanks!"
"Ms. Wagner, what does this button do?" Pablo asked, while we mutually read an article over our TEAMS call.
"I don't know. Push it." I responded.
A series of speeds were listed after he pushed it. We listened to the lady read the article ridiculously slow, then sped her up until she read the whole thing out loud in like, ten seconds. It actually was pretty funny.
"Guess what you guys? I have to leave work right on time today, I'm um, I'm getting a shot. The um, vaccine, I'm getting it today." I told my fourth graders in one of our daily after-school video sessions.
"Ohhhhhh, Ms. Wagner. I do not like shots. I cry and have to calm myself." Kaw blurted out.
"Yeah, I really don't like them either, but this one is pretty important." I responded.
"Ohhhh, Ms. Wagner, my mom says that if people get the vaccine, they like, turn in to animals. Like maybe a giraffe, or even a snake......" Paw Ku mentioned, carefully.
"I'm going to bark all the way home!" I responded, laughing.
"I might even eat some of Lola's dog food!"
They found that pretty amusing and I found myself brainstorming how I would incorporate random animal noises into my lesson the next day.
Prem came in the call with the fourth graders and insisted that we play with Google Translate. He claimed that my name is Rikitakashifu in Japanese. I told them that I would refuse to answer to any other name for the rest of the school year.
"No!!! Ms. Wagner!!! Too long, too hard!!!!" Kaw screamed.
"Okay, you can call me Rikitaka." I responded. Then, we made Google Translate say all of our names in different languages. It was really struggling with their names.
"Put our names in Thai instead of English..." Bway Pa called out.
"Thai or Burmese, which will..."
"THAI!!!" they all screamed.
"Ms. Wagner, I am really afraid to send my children back into the building, but a friend of mine said that if I don't, they'll get kicked out of school."
I read the message and felt really relieved that the parent had reached out to me with that information.
"You have ever right to NOT send your children back to school. There will be no repercussions and they will be able to continue attending school online and come back when you are comfortable. They will not be kicked out. The majority of parents have made that choice and it is completely acceptable." I wrote back, in Spanish. 'Majority' didn't even cover it. The first day that 25% our students were eligible to return to school, only 39 kids came. The rest kept their children at home. I only have a third of my students that are willing to re-enter the building.
"Oh thank you, dios te bendinga, I lost my father to COVID on Tuesday. My mom died a year ago. I am completely alone and I am just very afraid."
I stared back at my computer screen. In the last year, she left the father of her children because he had another woman and child on the side. She also had another baby, I believe her fifth. A one hundred year pandemic hit and she lost both of her parents. I was speechless.
Last Wednesday, Kaw didn't show up for his weekly online reading lesson. He's never done that before. The fourth graders usually blow me up with messages on Wednesdays and I didn't receive a single message. It was odd, and I hoped maybe their families had taken them to the park or something, it was really nice out. I didn't sleep well that night and had weird dreams about Kaw. He was alone, rowing a boat in the middle of some huge lake or sea. He is a small boy and the sight of him alone like that was jarring. Later, he popped up again in the dream and he was actually in the water, alone. I woke up, tired from shitty sleep and felt horrible. I just had a very bad feeling.
When I got to work, I noticed multiple texts on my Google Voice from Kaw and from his older sister. There were other messages from them through other platforms. There were messages from Paw Ku's mom too. Paw Ku is his best friend. I was afraid to check the messages, but did anyway. They were vague, just saying 'hello' and one mentioning that Kaw's sister wanted me to help her register her child for the pre-k lottery. Finally I called one of the numbers and heard Kaw answer.
"Kaw, is that you? It's Ms. Wagner."
"Yes," he responded quietly.
"I knew my sister had your number in her phone so I asked her for it and borrowed my mom's phone. I can't log on! No one can!"
The district changed the fucking passwords for everyone right in the middle of this mess. He was freaking out. I spoke to him on the phone on and off through the day, trying to get him online. He texted me pictures of the error messages he was getting. Finally, he was in around 1:30 in the afternoon. He went and got his sister and followed my links to pull up the pre-k lottery website and present the screen so that I could see it. He interpreted the questions into Karen for his sister and showed her how to click on things and fill it out. He was completely running the show. He is an eleven year old boy that arrived here as a refugee five years ago with zero English. His abilities and willingness to get things done amazes me.
Pablo looked at me through the screen, a devilish look in his eye.
"Guess what, Ms. Wagner?! I'm the teacher now!" he shrieked, laughing maniacally.
I could see that he was trying to mute me and busted out laughing. He tried to kick me out of the meeting, too.
"Mute yourself!" he yelled, waiving a pool stick around and jumping on his couch.
We didn't get a damn thing done but it was really funny.
Pablo came into the school last Friday, to take another test. He was literally the only child in the school. He seemed a little creeped out. We finished his test, called Lola on the app I have, grabbed a bunch of candy and went outside to wait for his mom to come and pick him up. He was wearing his cool new hoodie, black jeans, red sneakers and his embroidered Mexican belt. He looked cool, and I told him so. He said they were new clothes, but the jeans were too tight. He insisted on waiting at the corner of the school, right by the street and sat down on the curb.
"Want to come over?" he asked.
"When my mom comes, why don't you come with us?"
"Oh wow, I wish I could. I have to stay at work."
"You should come by after you're done. We can play with the puppies. I play with them until the sun goes down."
"I really wish I could, Pablo, but I don't think I should come over while the virus is still around....."
"Can we come to Lola's birthday party?"
"I wish, I really wish, but I don't think this year is a good one. You'll meet her in person, Pablo, I promise. One day."
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