"What a lady what a night!"
I found myself chuckling, listening to various disco songs about fucking while the kids danced obliviously during our indoor Field Day.
I sat at my post, watching children file down the stairs to leave school.
"It was the second to the last day of Spanish!" one of my fifth grade students students exclaimed.
"That's right," I answered, unsure of how to address his comment.
He milled back and forth, staring at the floor. He hugged me.
"We only have one more day. Then it's over. I'll be gone. I won't be here. You'll be gone, too."
He continued pacing, grabbed me again in a hug and ran down the stairs, his sport emblazoned back pack bouncing quickly from his shoulders. A difficult student with a laundry list of conditions. He seemed so off-kilter, disoriented.
I entered the "Teacher's Lounge", a small, windowless room with fluorescent lighting, hard chairs and a microwave. I think "lounge" is a wildly glorified way of describing the place. Two teachers stood next to a table covered in cupcakes. Each had a cupcake in one hand and a popsicle in the other. One had an additional to go plate stacked full of cupcakes.
"Oh my god, Hilary, open the freezer!"
I opened it, to see it packed full of every flavor of popsicles imaginable. I glanced back at their feral faces, mouths lined with sugar and eyes aglow with strange light. We had twenty-four hours to go.
Shonelle was clutching me, her arms wrapped tightly around me.
"I'm going to miss you." she whispered.
"I'll miss you too, but we'll see each other at the apartments!"
"Everyone on this hall hates their Spanish teachers, but we got you. We love you."
"Believe me, I have students that hate me." I answered.
"Yeah, Patty does," she answered, referring to a fifth grader that also lives in the Housing Authority.
"But whenever she says anything, I tell her to shut up."
"Some of your interactions with students have not been positive. I don't know, I find you a pleasant person, some of the time....".
Thank you. That must be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Mahmo stood in our office, waiting for me, having snuck away from his class again.
"Did you have a meeting?!" he scream-asked.
I stood outside the classroom with Laadah, one of the students I have taught for two years at school and who was also part of my group at the Center. I didn't want the rest of the kids to know that I had gotten her a present.
"Congratulations on finishing fifth grade!" I told her, handing her a bag of chocolate truffles.
"I know you're fasting, but maybe you can eat them in the night when you break the fast...."
Her face erupted with joy and she hugged me.
"I am going to miss you so much," she said, "will you be at the Center next year?"
"YES." I answered, thrilled that she liked her gift.
"Where is Raaidah?" I asked.
"She's not here, she says it's because she has to go to her brother's graduation, but it's not until seven o'clock tonight." she answered, raising her eyebrows.
"She couldn't do it....."
"No. Yesterday she yelled at everyone in class all day to be quiet...."
"I'm sorry, Laadah...."
She hugged me again.
"I'm taking swimming lessons this summer!" she told me, eyes wild with excitement. I really didn't know how much I loved her until that moment.
We stood outside of the school, waiting for the school buses to take off. The drivers revved the engines and started honking the horns. I was desperately trying not to cry. They started to drive. Kids waved from the open windows.
Suddenly, the overcrowded school bus that goes to the projects tore by, countless heads and hands thrust through every open window. I found myself jumping and waving, yelling out, as all their little heads and hands got smaller and smaller in the distance.
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