How did the music button get activated and begin playing "Holiday in Cambodia" loudly at seven o'clock in the morning?
I walked the students through the test prep for their latest standardized test.
"Ass click" the automated voice said loudly.
Ass click? What the fuck? I stared back at the screen. It was trying to say 'haz click', in Spanish.
"Why is it swearing at us?" one of the students asked.
The fifth graders were beginning their big, year end presentations. One of them started an interactive game. I pulled out my phone, thinking it would be cute to play as I monitored the presentation. As I clicked on the Safari button, my latest internet search came up. 'Goatse' appeared boldly, as I tried to shield my phone from the parents that surrounded me.
"Hey, you know my dad!" one of my students exclaimed.
"Huh?"
"He saw your picture in the yearbook and said you used to work together at....."
"Really?" I responded, still unsure who whe was talking about.
"Kyle Davis" she announced proudly.
Aw shit, the guy I made out with that time after getting completely wasted?
"Oh....neat...." I responded, at a loss for words.
"That was, uh, a really long time ago....".
She stared at me, naive and smiling.
"Do you know my dad?!" a bunch of other girls started asking me.
Um, I sure hope not.
I stood in the copy room, making, uh, copies. I saw some of my students in line outside of the door, stuck in a hallway traffic jam. We started making faces at each other through the window and I shoved my nose up like a pig on the glass.
Another teacher's face suddenly appeared.
I jumped back and opened the door.
"Are you trapped in there?" she asked, concerned.
"Um, no, I'm good".
One's past is never really gone.
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