She actually started calming down.
"My cherie amour...pretty as a summer's day...you're the only one that I adore, makes all the gray skies go away....." I continued, making up lyrics as I tried to make it to the vet.
She had a little surgery a week ago. Thankfully, non-malignant, and I was trying to get her stitches out before the snow thunder cold tornado thing hit the southeast. We have been going outside of the perimeter since her vet retired and Lola had cancer. It sucks going out there, but I like this vet.
I've been out of school for almost a week. I'm a little stressed. My students got their annual books, Hannukah has been a success, I have to keep watching my work email for Rafael paperwork, got the lights on the tree, hate mail from the new teacher that will be Rafael's teacher when we return and I needed to watch Lola so she wouldn't pull her stitches out and clean the house for my family's Christmas gathering. And buy a bunch of presents and food.
I kept waking up, worrying about getting Lola to the vet. She can't wear her harness because of the location of her stitches. Just a flimsy collar. The vet is on a really busy road. I'd lay there at five in the morning, thinking about it.
"Ask your sister to come with you. Or get those vet people to help you get her out of the car. Don't do it alone." Alec told me, repeatedly.
I did it alone.
The morning of Lola's appointment, I went to the Farmer's Market to get food and shit for the gathering, and a steak for Lola. It was awful, but I was up and moving, even wearing my Golden Girls velour tracksuit and letting idiots crash their carts into me while I cage fought for the shit I wanted. And then, when I was almost done, I reached into my purse and my wallet wasn't there. I almost hid my cart under a shelf and ran away, but I knew I would only end up back again during Snowmaggeden and I had to get Lola to the vet. I texted my sister.
"We are on our way with cash." she responded.
They were there in twenty minutes, epic Atlanta traffic navigation.
I unloaded the shit and got back in the car with Lola and sang my way through traffic.
She barked at the vet techs. We all held her down while the pulled out the stitches. One part wasn't all the way healed and we held her down again while the put some sort of skin glue on it so it would continue healing. I don't like doing this to my dog.
I was glad that we were out of there, only the stressful journey home to go, during horrific traffic. And then, Lola wouldn't get in the car. She kept going between my legs, trying to pull out of her collar. I kept staring at the street, knowing everything that I did was wrong. It went on and on for probably fifteen minutes. This was all my fault. If my dog got out of that collar, she would be in that street and dead. And that, I can't take.
The teenage girls that work the front desk of the vet finally came out. They had the treats that my dumbass forgot and helped me get Lola in the car. My chest was so tight I thought I was about to die. I would have bought them Fetanyl if they asked me to, out of pure gratitude.
I cleaned the house today, with Karen Carpenter helping me. The whole place smells like Fabuloso and no one ever loved her, baby.
I wish every one of you luck in the new year. Beauty and love. I honestly wish all of us everything.
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