I Felt the Lonely Comin' Down

"Ms. Wagner, why is the sky bright yellow?"
I looked outside.  It was bright yellow.  At 5:30 at night.
My boss looked at me.  "Emory cancelled the tornado drills because people would think it was real."
"Aazim, I have no idea, but I don't like the looks of it." I answered.
"You're supposed to be smart.  Why don't you know the answer?"  he asked.
"Can't win them all!" I answered, chasing him through the yellow parking lot.

"Let's get physical!  Physical!"  a strange, blond boy yelled, arching his back and shaking his ass.
"What's your name?"  another yelled.
"Hilary."
"She got destroyed by Trump." a brutish boy announced, his broad face widening in a mean smile.
He turned and screamed in a girl's face.
I had noticed him a month ago.  Two months ago.  Now all his behavior made sense.  But, why his parents chose a school that emphasizes kindness made no sense to me.  I watched each 20K a year kid run around and felt confused.

I drove to the Housing Authority.  I stay the same whether I am in the projects or at a private school.  I speak the same and act the same.  They are all my babies, but my project kids are my loves.

"How old are you?"  one of the private school kids asked.
"Guess, and then I''ll tell you."  I answered, knowing the responses would be funny.
"Twenty-five" he answered.
"Twenty-six" another seconded.
"Fifteen!"  a third yelled.
"I know you're not old," Blair declared, "you don't have wrinkles!"
"I have wrinkles when I smile,"  I answered, pointing at my eyes.
"Those are the good kind."

I sat in the room with the kids that where in trouble at the private school.   I told them what they were supposed to do, then picked up a book off of the bookshelf.
"I WAS ON FIRE."  I read to myself.
"It was my earliest memory."
I watched them and read, feeling content and happy in my world.  I glanced up occasionally, when the problematic boy, the white kid that I had witnessed throw money at a staff member, looked at me.
"I was standing on a chair in front of the stove, wearing a pink dress my grandmother had bought for me.  I felt a blaze of heat on my right side. I turned to see where it was coming from and realized my dress was on fire."

"It sounds like fun out there," I said out loud.
"Everyone is doing their choice activity.  I know you'll get on your game so that you'll be with them next week."
"Yeah..." he responded.
"You guys can go.  Have a great weekend."

"Who'd ya vote for...?"  Tamira asked me.
"I'll tell you if you tell me first who you think I should have voted for...."  I answered.
"Stacey.." she answered, eyes glowing.
"But....some people didn't..." she started to answer, before stopping herself.
"Mean old white people in the sticks, " I answered, "didn't vote for her."

Tamira's eyes glowed brighter and she ran around the table and hugged me.

*Title, Dolly Parton
*Quotes, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls