It had been a long night. I left La Cruz de Huancaxtle around three PM the previous afternoon. It was time to go, though I had paid to stay in our rental for several more days. I needed to head back, or I knew my mind might cave in on itself . I had a goal of driving about six hours, so that I could make it to Texas the following day and to Atlanta the next. I launched out, without a map or any kind of real directions, showing my first mistake of complacency and getting too used to Mexico being my own backyard. I packed up the house, packed up Lola and headed out, rigging the doors shut on the rental and putting the key in a weird slot in the wall. I almost left clothes in the dryer.
I was making good time, until hitting major traffic while trying to surpass Guadalajara, Mexico's second largest city, which is saying a lot because Mexico's largest city is one of the biggest cities in the world. I was bored, frustrated, tapping on the gas while Lola waited patiently in the back seat. The sun was going down. I watched a Disney- Cinderella style horse and carriage pass by on the side of the congested road, filled with some sort of green hay instead of a princess or corny couple. I tapped my phone for directions to by-pass the traffic. It wouldn't work. I had a signal, but Google Maps couldn't find a server. I was worried I had gone over my data amount and finally called my mom. I didn't want to, she divorced my step-dad in April and I knew this was supposed to be the day he moved out.
"Mom?" I asked.
"How are you?"
"Oh my God, this day has been exhausting....".
"I hate to ask you this but can you call AT&T for me? I have tried direct dialing them and it won't go through and my data has been cut off and I am stuck in Guadalajara and don't know where to go.....".
As I sat in traffic while my mom texted me, asking my social security number and various other details to get my data back on.
"You have plenty of data!" she told me. "They said it was a 'glitch' that your phone wasn't working....".
So, my mom fixed it and it worked and I got out of Guadalajara. I drove smoothly on the highway, relieved to be moving again. I followed Google maps. Suddenly, things started looking familiar again. Why was I back in Tonalá? Why was I back in Guadalajara? An hour after exiting, I was thrust into the city center of Guadalajara again. I studied there one summer more than a decade ago, but was not too keen on reminiscing as I drove past my old university and favorite taco stands in the dark, trying to get the fuck back on the road. I was stuck in the myriad of streets, completely clueless as to how to get back to the northern highway. And, there was more traffic. I was completely reliant on street signs, as Google Maps had dipped out again. It was getting later, pushing eleven.
As I sat at a traffic light, several men infiltrated the road, spraying dirty water on windshields and "cleaning them off" for money. People used to do this in Atlanta during the early nineties. I watched one man eyeball and run straight for the gringo-lady car. I would gladly give them money just to leave me alone, mainly because Lola goes psycho if anyone goes near the car or touches the windshield. As soon as I saw him coming, I rolled down the window and started imploring in Spanish that he not touch the car. Being a misogynistic shit face, he did what ever he wanted. Lola went insane. Now, I was screaming in Spanish and in English for him to get the fuck away, before Lola broke a window and ate his face off. He kept doing what he was doing. I turned on the windshield wipers. That stopped him.
He stood by the driver's side of the car, instructing me to to roll the window down. Obviously, he hadn't understood yet that I don't just take directions from weird men on the street, even though I have a vagina. He upped his voice as I watched him through the window, yelling in perfect English:
"FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY. GET OUT."
I smiled at him. That was actually my goal.
I drove through the night, finally exiting Guadalajara and driving on the same northern highway I had been on hours earlier and toward the dog friendly hotel where I had a reservation. Alec started calling.
"Yes. I am still driving."
"Hilary, you are being stupid. You are going to get kidnapped. Even those super gringo expatriates don't drive around at night."
"I am doing my best."
He started texting me names of hotels. Alec doesn't usually text and I thought his concern was sweet. But I kept driving.
I passed through a toll booth. I was surprised at the fond look of the young woman working the booth, grinning, asking about Lola. I was still rattled by the guy in Guadalajara and appreciated someone that seemed to approve of what I was doing - strange gringo woman alone with dog in a Honda on a dangerous highway in the middle of the night, acting pretty natural and innocuous. Clueless might be the better word. The second toll booth was similar, this time a male that appreciated Lola as my "guardian".
I knew I would never make it to my destination and pulled into one of the towns Alec recommended. I stopped at an OXXO and bought water for Lola and me and proceeded inward. It was a strangely medieval town with a massive church in the middle; it reminded me more of France than of Spain or Mexico. As I drove through the town looking for the pet friendly hotel that Alec had found on the internet, a noticed a few men on motorcycles following us. I ignored them, but every time I made a turn they were on our bumper. Lola didn't like it. I didn't like it either. Finally, I exited the town. As I came up to the last red light, one of the motorcycle men pulled up beside me, and I lowered the window.
"No, I'm good, I don't need to hire your as a guide." I stated, as Lola went feral.
I turned to the right, just to get rid of him and drove back on the highway out of the town. I saw a small hotel with the lights on and pulled off. The entire family, complete with elementary age children, was sitting in the lobby.
"Do you have any rooms?" I asked. "And, do you allow dogs?"
"How big of a dog?"
"A very large dog."
"As long as it doesn't bark all night."
"She won't."
The woman looked to her husband.
"Charge her 250." he stated, asking fifty peso below the rate the was published on a little board with white, stick on letters.
They helped me carry my bag and all of Lola's stuff upstairs, even though the wife was terrified of Lola.
Lola and I took a quick walk around the area to let her pee, while I looked over my shoulder for the motorcycle men. I would find out in the morning that I had inadvertently dropped the car keys and my iPhone brick next to the driver's side door. Lola and I went upstairs.
I set up the fan in front of the bed and Lola and I jumped in. Lola cemented herself next to my side. Both girls on the run slept like we were dead for almost five hours.
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