Two Six Packs Away

I hurried to my car in the early morning darkness, determined to arrive at school on time.  I spotted the spider web right before I walked through it, feeling web on my face and tangled in my hair.  A large bodied brown spider hung over my head.

Five kids wandered aimlessly around the classroom, right in the middle of my "lesson".
"Have a seat, Nina, have a seat Javon...look you are not spending another whole class playing with the pencil sharpener.....hey...Aiden....."
"Give it to me!"  Abe shrieked, "Give me my pencil!"
"It doesn't belong over here!" Yusuf yelled back, crossing the room to stand in front of Abe.  A physical tussle over a fucking pencil was beginning.  Nina and Javon continued wandering around as another kid got up.
"What a douche!"  one of the fourth graders exclaimed.  
I looked up to see the principal standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face.  My class was completely out of control.
An incredibly loud gigantic fart ripped out of one of the students.  All of the kids started howling and pulling their shirts over their faces. 

This was exactly the image I wanted in my boss's mind of my teaching style and classroom atmosphere.  

I roamed through the school, entering and exiting various classrooms to teach my class, inadvertently itching myself all over whenever the big brown spider entered my mind.  I saw the tough little boy from the crazy class standing in the hallway, his face as adult and serious as always, but something was different in the eyes.  I've noticed he wears the same clothes everyday.
"Hey Tyrone, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, no yeah, yeah, yeah...." he responded.
"Um, okay....but really, what's wrong?"
"I'm embarrassed....about class...." he responded, his eyes getting a little wetter.
"Oh God, about what happened?  Really, I have fifth graders that do it on purpose and are proud of it!  These kids will forget about it in an hour, really...".

"Give yourself a check." I commanded the boy that was spanking his own ass in the middle of my lesson.  He had simulated taking an actual shit in my last class.  I have to admit that I am curious about what else he might do with his butt next time.
 
I continued wandering the school, scratching even my ankles now. 
"It smells horrible in here!" I heard a teacher yell at her class.
"Line up for a bathroom break, it smells like somebody needs it!".

I headed down to my stairwell to monitor dismissal, my daily work duty.  I was relieved to be able to scratch at will.  The large headed boy skipped down the stairs, came within an inch of my face to tell me goodbye and continued on his way.  Bailey gave me a boyish goodbye after explaining the war game he intended to play at his afternoon camp.  The river of kids continued for about twenty minutes.
"Adios Tyrone" I called as he slid down the stairs.
He paused.

"You have a good weekend" he instructed with a little head nod and brief eye contact.  I think I saw the corners of his mouth move upward, just slightly.