"I can't remember the last time I took a shower. Probably won't take one today either. I just take my clothes off at night, lay them at the foot of the bed, then put them right back on again the next morning".
"And then I laid there and farted, creating a wind symphony with the other people in the room".
"On the day of the presentation of your research for your Specialist's degree, you must also make a cardboard triboard of your achievements! No, electronic presentations are not acceptable. Paper, glue and scissors is what you will need to complete THIS professional program!".
"I know. My boob has been sticking out all day. There is nothing I can do about it. This shirt is see-through".
"Hi, I'm Hilary. I was Aidan's Spanish teacher this year!".
"You the one that was callin' all the time?" the mother asked coldly, turning her back and walking away. A hush fell over the party for at least thirty seconds.
"Emma is at Grady".
"Goooooooooollll!"
"God, we were wild. three-ways, strippers, we did it all".
"Where does all the beer go that you buy?".
"That thing you asked me to sign electronically; I just typed my name on the line. Will that work?".
"Okay, here's the doggie Xanax...".
"It's a U.P. thing".
"NO era penal".
"And then, I shit my pants".
"Can you advocate for a refugee, Central American family that is being placed in Atlanta?".
"Michael is on his way back to the emergency room".
"Oh my God, I have to wear sunglasses in my living room that house is so bright. I am getting a second liner on all of my curtains".
"If you see this man, call 911. He's wanted". You mean the guy I just passed outside the Texaco?
"What are your personal goals for the upcoming school year?".
Oh no. Do you mean the one that starts in like, ten days?.....In the 'fall' as we like to call it? Didn't we just pack up 'last year'?
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