Green Grass

I sat on the floor of my classroom at seven at night, watching fifty-odd kids rampage through my room.  I was surprised that I was enjoying myself.  George read Green Eggs and Ham out loud to me and to his little brother, in Spanish.  It calmed his little brother down, who had been screaming for his mom.  It calmed me down too.  I saw Emily walk in, trailed by her mother.  Her mom had a concerned look on her face.  There was a lot of action in there, a lot of chaos.  I called to Emily to sit by me and she came.  I was happy that her mom looked relieved.  And I was thrilled to have thirty whole minutes to play with Emily, unobstructed.  She looked a little anxious.  I set her up with a clipboard and paper and she feverishly started drawing.

"Excuse me," another teacher said impatiently.  Emily's clipboard was on top of a board game that no one was playing.  Emily didn't even look up.  It's hard to get her to move once she has found a spot.  And it's her nature.  And her disability.   I was just glad that she wasn't hustling people out of her two reserved seats that she sits in everyday in Spanish.  That was a huge step.

"Emily's in the zone" I said, laughing, in an attempt to soften the situation. 
"Well she needs to take the zone somewhere else" she responded, curtly.

I grabbed her by the throat.
"Don't you EVER speak to her that way again, you silly old cunt" I hissed, inches from her face.
"Get away from her".
People stopped and stared.  It got quiet.  Suddenly, a crumpled up piece of paper flew at the wicked one.  There was more where that came from.
Stuffed animals, puzzle pieces, finger puppets.  Pencils.
"Get out!  Get out!  Get out!" they chanted, lifting Emily on their shoulders and chasing the mean old thing out.   Emily's eyes gazed at the thing, not even knowing that someone had been awful to her. 
We slammed the door behind the witch, and celebrated our success.  

"Come here, lovely," I said in reality, picking up her clipboard and moving her to the rug.  "Let's draw here".  She came.  And we played, and other kids joined us.

"I think there's going to be a lot of changes next year" I said to Ms. Super Lovely, my confidant. 
"Yeah....I'm afraid to leave though.  You know how the grass always looks greener from the other side....then you go over there and find out it's brown".

I laughed.  She had that right.

I've been in so many shitbox schools that I don't even know what's right.  They're all right, in one way or another, or so wrong, in  a million ways.  

It is just how it is.