I was running, slowly, jogging, up the sidewalk that circles the park. I had had a productive day. Went to work, worked after work, ran some errands, cleaned the bathroom. Which, was nasty. And now, a jog. I stumbled and found myself smacking down on the sidewalk, hands bleeding and chest hurting like a motherfucker. What just happened? I got up and started running again. I stopped after a few minutes. My body really hurt.
Tuesday morning, the air conditioning continued its upward cycle. It was nearly eighty degrees in the room. I was exhausted. Every twitch of my body hurt my ribs, my shoulder. I am not sure how I can crash into a chair and do a somersault on cement and be fine, but take a little fall on the sidewalk and half kill myself. I picked up my phone during a break, ready to call my doctor. I paused, and went to the school nurse instead. "You probably bruised your ribs," she told me, "maybe even cracked them. You are standing up and talking, so it must not have punctured your lungs. There's not much anyone can do". I knew she was right. But everything hurt.
I realized my voice was stammering. "I need to know how to get a sub. I know that you want us to find coverage if we are in a one teacher classroom, but you do not have a list of people to call in order to find someone to come in." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation. My school relies on parent volunteers instead of paid substitute teachers. I don't know who to call if I am ill, or if my rib cage is caving in on my lungs. The general response has been, "Wow, we really don't have anyone for Spanish". "I also will not be at the faculty meeting. I am going to the doctor, it hurts me to breathe".
I was surprised when an hour later, the recipient of my nervous conversation walked into my classroom, a young woman in tow. It was late in the afternoon, and the kindergartners were struggling to even sit the fuck down. "Someone from another school!" she said brightly, while I winced and struggled to lift my left arm to do the hand motions of our opening song. They left. Another group of kindergartners arrived. They were struggling. I was struggling. It was late. Suddenly, the little observer from another school reappeared. The kids were having one of their worst days yet. The mysterious observer wandered around, without identifying herself. I was having trouble breathing. "We are going to listen quietly while I read the book out loud that you are going to illustrate" I told the class. The kids got quiet. The lovely observer started crouching next to kids, asking them questions. It was confusing to them. I had told them to be quiet, this lady was talking to them. My chest was collapsing. This little bitch needed to shut the fuck up, ask me in advance if she wanted to observe my class and quit disrupting the lesson. And now all the kids were talking again.
"Your rib cage and collar bone are bruised," my doctor told me. "but I want to X-ray your arm, it worries me. It could be dislocated or fractured".
I stood in the dark room, staring at the ghostly X-ray on the screen. "I don't know what I am looking at." I told the technician. "It's okay," he answered "I just wanted you to look". "Bones are elegant, aren't they?" I asked him.
"Yes," he responded breathlessly. "Yes they are".
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